The Art of Providing Feedback: Banish the use of “always”

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Here’s a tip for managers: Banish the word “always” from your vocabulary.

The Manager by Design blog frequently writes about how to give performance feedback.  Performance feedback is an important skill for any manager, as it is one of the quickest ways to improve performance of individuals on your team.

One particularly useless word in the art of performance feedback is the word “always.”  Here are some examples of where a manager mistakenly uses “always” in performance feedback:

You’re always late

You always make bad decisions

You always come up short

These are examples of bad performance feedback, since they are not behavior-based, but the word that makes these examples particularly bad is the word “always.”  That’s because “always” implies that the employee’s performance is eternal and permanent.   And that undermines the whole point of performance feedback, which is to change the way your employees are performing, and have them do something better instead.

Let’s start by removing the word always from the three examples above:

You’re late

You made a bad decision

You came up short

OK, these are still pretty bad, but at least this feedback didn’t put an eternal and permanent brand on the employee as “always late,” “always bad at making decisions,” and “always underperforming.”  At least without the word “always”, the feedback is isolated to the once incident, making it possible for the feedback to be more specific and immediate.

 

Removing the word “always” allows you to  focus on the particular event you are giving feedback on, and not make a generalization about the person’s permanent character.

Removing the word “always” allows you to support the thesis about “late” “bad decisions” and “coming up short” with more details.  By discussing the details, you at least have entry to discussion as to why this happened, and identify the forces that went into the performance.

 

Removing the word “always” implies that this bad event can be turned around and the next time the performance can be improved.

When you use the word “always” in a feedback conversation, it implies that there is a permanence to the employee behavior the manager is ostensibly trying to correct.  “Always” makes the performance feedback conversation useless, because instead of trying to get the employee to do something differently next time (be on time, make a good decision, meet the goal), it instead sounds like a relegation or banishment to permanent underperformance that the employee can never get out of.

That’s not good for either the manager or the employee, unless you want a chronically underperforming team that hates the manager.

Finally, by saying someone is “always late” or “always makes poor decisions”, it is inherently incorrect.  If that employee can find one time he was on time, or one time she made a correct decision, then the manager is proven wrong.  Not a good move if you want to be able to lead a team.

So to all of the managers out there – banish the word “always” from your vocabulary.

Have you ever been told that you “always” do something?  What was that like?

Related articles:

The Art of Providing Feedback: Make it Specific and Immediate

An example of giving specific and immediate feedback and a frightening look into the alternatives

Examples of when to offer thanks and when to offer praise

What inputs should a manager provide performance feedback on?

Getting started on a performance log – stick with the praise

An example of how to use a log to track performance of an employee

Providing corrective feedback: Trend toward tendencies instead of absolutes

Behavior-based language primer for managers: How to tell if you are using behavior-based language

Behavior-based language primer for managers: Avoid using value judgments

Behavior-based language primer for managers: Stop using generalizations

 

How to be collaborative rather than combative with your employees – and make annual reviews go SOOO much better

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Many managers botch the annual review process. There’s this persistent idea out there that the manager needs to provide “one good thing, one bad thing” on an annual performance review.  However unlikely it is that the employee does an equal amount of damage as good over the course of the year, this model seems to persist.  Many times, managers will actually go fishing for incidents that are bad.  They’ll try to find those moments where the employee said something wrong, missed a step, or caused friction on the team.  The manager will fastidiously wait for the annual review and then spring it upon the employee – Aha!  You did this bad thing during the year!  And I get to cite it on the review.

Well no more of that!

I propose the sympathetic model of performance feedback.  In the sympathetic model, the manager looks at both the individual and the system in determining what the employee ought to have done differently (if anything) and what ought to be done differently in the future.

Here is the sympathetic model: (Click for larger image)

When you look at an employee’s actions this way, you can see that there may be some greater forces that went into the employee’s behavior.  So instead of using a bad incident to cite what is wrong with the employee, the sympathetic model asks that managers engage in analysis and discussion with the employee to figure out what drove the behavior.   Then the manager and the employee strategize on what to do next, and what should be done in the future.

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Some pros and cons of peer feedback directly given by peers

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I’ve written articles lately about the risks of peer feedback from surveys and how peer feedback can be best utilized to improve performance on your team and in your organization.  A frequent scenario is that the manager receives some sort of report with “360 feedback” from peers on team members’ performance.  Then the implication is that the manager has to do something about it.

When the feedback comes from a survey, the feedback is indirect, and it’s of lower quality. The feedback is coming from a secondary source, there is also a serious time delay, the facts of the matter are usually murky and there is no alternative course of action offered.  It’s also not clear if the person receiving the feedback actually did the wrong thing.  Really, as far as feedback to improve performance is concerned, it’s kind of useless.

But what about the scenario when a peer gives feedback directly to another peer?  Is this desirable?

For example, lets say you are working on a project and a peer consistently misses a deadline.  The peer says, “You have missed the deadlines, and this is causing project delays.  Is there a way you correct this?”  That counts as peer feedback, and it isn’t waiting for a survey process.

Here are some reasons peer feedback directly given can be desirable:

–The feedback is more likely to be specific and immediately given

–The feedback is likely to have an alternate course of action

–The feedback is likely to comes from an expert on policies and best practices

–The feedback is not directly tainted by managerial power relations related to promotions and annual review toxicity

–The feedback is likely aimed at immediately improving performance of both the individual and the team

These are all excellent arguments in favor of peer feedback directly given, but there is another argument in favor of direct peer feedback.

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How to use peer feedback from surveys for good (it’s not easy) – Part 2

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This article is the second in a series on how managers can better use peer “feedback” from surveys.  In general, a manager should be dubious about the quality of feedback that information provided on peer feedback surveys, since they are non-specific and time delayed.  At best, this information provides clues and subtext for what is actually happening, and don’t reach the bar of performance feedback, but instead is general info.  In the previous article, I discussed how managers should

  1. Treat the info as clues
  2. Stick to directly observed behaviors
  3. Ask for specific and immediate feedback from peers (instead of waiting for the survey to come around)

Today, I’d like to focus on using this information that the survey provides to understand the greater system that is driving the performance of your employees.


4. Use peer feedback as a basis for a strategy session with your employee

I’ve written before about how when giving performance feedback, isn’t always about the individual performance of an employee.  Many times, peer feedback can reveal these systemic challenges with the job.

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How to use peer feedback from surveys for good (it’s not easy) – Part 1

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I’ve been writing a lot about peer feedback lately.  What’s interesting is that peer feedback is often about the subtext of what happened between the peer and the employee.   The manager looks deeply into the peer feedback to identify the hidden meaning of what the peer was getting at.  But what about the thing above the subtext, the thing right there on the surface?  What’s that called?

The text.

(Thanks to Whit Stillman’s Barcelona for help writing the opening of this article)

In this case, the text is the actual employee behavior, and this provides a clue for how managers should use peer feedback.

1. Treat peer feedback as clues, hidden meanings and shadowy innuendo

If you get a peer feedback report (often the result of some sort of “360 degree survey” conducted by the HR department), understand that this is a series of random snapshots into an employee’s behavior.  Treat it as such.  When the peer feedback says, “Jeremy is the greatest!” that means something good, but we’re not really sure.  When the peer feedback says, “Jenny does so much to make this a strong team.”  There’s something there about teamwork.  It’s interesting, but we don’t really know what that means.  When the peer feedback says, “Anthony never does any work.”  This means that someone somewhere objects to Anthony’s performance.  We’re not sure to what exactly this is referring, but there is something there, we think.

In other words, it is all unverified information, but it might give you some clues to something, or maybe not.

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Examples of how peer feedback from surveys is misused by managers

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In my previous post, I describe how peer feedback from 360 degree surveys is not really feedback at all.  At best, it can be considered, “general input from peers about an employee.”  Alas, it is called peer feedback, and as such, it risks being misused by managers.  Let’s talk about these misuses:

As a proxy for direct observations: Peer feedback is so seductive because it sounds like something that can replace what a manager is supposed to be doing as a manager.  One job of the manager is to provide feedback on job performance and coach the employee to better performance.  However, with peer feedback from surveys, you get this proxy for that job expectation:  The peers do it via peer feedback.  Even better, it is usually performed by the Human Resources department, which sends out the survey, compiles it, and gives it to the manager.  Now all the manager has to do is provide that feedback to the employee.  See, the manager has given feedback to the employee on job performance.  Done!

Never mind that this feedback doesn’t qualify as performance feedback, may-or-may not be job related, or may-or-may not be accurate.

The incident that sticks and replicates: Let’s say in August an employee, Jacqueline, was out on vacation for three weeks.  During that time, a request from the team Admin came out to provide the asset number of the computer, but Jacqueline didn’t reply to this.  And worse, Jacqueline didn’t reply to it after returning from vacation, figuring that the admin would have followed up on the gaps that remained on the asset list.  Then it comes back a year later on Jacqueline’s peer feedback that the she is unresponsive, difficult to get a hold of and doesn’t follow procedures.  This came from the trusted Admin source!

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Why peer feedback from surveys doesn’t qualify as feedback

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In a previous post, I identified peer feedback from 360 degree surveys as a source of inputs where a manager gets information about an employee’s performance.  Peer feedback via 360 degree surveys has become increasingly popular as a way of identifying the better performers from the lesser performers.  After all, teams should identify people who get great peer feedback, and do something about the team members who get poor peer feedback.  The better the peer feedback, the better the employee, right?   Well, maybe.  Maybe not.  Let’s talk about how peer feedback should be used, and not misused.

OK, peer feedback.  As Demetri Martin would say, “This is a very important subject.”

First of all, by definition, peer feedback on surveys is, from the manager’s perspective, indirect reporting of an employee’s performance.  The peer gives the feedback via some intermediary source (survey, email request, or, if requested, verbal discussion), and then that information gets interpreted as to what it means by the manager, or perhaps even some third party algorithm.

So it is essentially hearsay.  Since it is one degree away from direct observation of performance, peer feedback is inherently more risky to use as a way to provide feedback on an employee’s performance.  Here’s why:

The best feedback – or the most artful, as I like to say – has the following qualities, amongst others:

–It is specific

–It is immediate

–It is behavior-based

–It provides an alternative behavior

Let’s see how peer feedback stands up!

Specificity: Peer feedback on surveys comes in the form of a summary of behaviors over an aggregate period of time.  Sample peer feedback will say something like, “John is always on top of everything, which I enjoy,” or “John needs to stop checking messages during the team meeting.”  Now here’s the rub:  This looks like general feedback, but it may be (you don’t know for sure) related to one incident.  The “on top of everything” may refer to arranging a co-worker’s birthday party.  The “check messages during a meeting” may have happened during the one meeting when his daughter was undergoing surgery.  Or it could be something that John always does.  You don’t know.  It’s general or it’s specific.  You don’t know.

Or. . .have you ever seen this kind of peer feedback?

“During the September 18 team meeting, John was checking his messages when he should have been working with the team to brainstorm solutions to resolving the budget shortfall.  Then, on the September 25 team meeting, John received two phone calls during the meeting, interrupting the discussion flow about what our strategy for next year should be.  Then, on October 2, John. . .”

This kind of peer feedback doesn’t happen on surveys.  Instead, you get summaries of behaviors that may be based on a specific incident. . . or not.  It may be work-related, or not.  You don’t really know.

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What a manager can do if the big boss puts a tag on an employee

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In my previous post, I described a common scenario and the mess it makes:

An employee meets with the big boss (the manager’s manager) in what is often called a “skip level” one-on-one.  Or the big boss sees – or hears about — some output of an employee, representing a small fraction of the employee’s output.  The big boss then makes a judgment on the employee – what I call a “tag” on the employee.  That tag now sticks on the employee.  It creates a big mess that puts the manager in a bind – how do you address this employee’s tag?

Here are tips for what the manager caught in the middle can do to handle the tag – whether good or bad.

1. Keep the tag in mind and wait for observed behaviors that are consistent with “the tag”

Ok, if the manager’s manager (“big boss”) is so keen at identifying employee’s essence and value, then surely there will be plenty of opportunities to observe directly the performance of the employee that has earned that tag.  Whether the tag is “negative attitude” or “rock star”, the manager needs to wait for opportunities to see behaviors that fit with this tag, and correct those behaviors.

If the manager is keeping a performance log on the employee, these trends should manifest if they are correct, and fail to appear should they be incorrect.

2. Ignore what your manager says and do your job of managing

Almost the same as the point above, but subtly different.  It doesn’t matter what the boss’s boss says. If you are managing your employee, work with your employee to make sure he meets performance expectations, provide feedback that drives to the desired behaviors, then, if the employee is performing the job duties according to expectations, then it kind of doesn’t matter what the boss’s boss says.  Your assessment is based on better data and you can justify it.

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What to do when your boss gives feedback on your employee? That’s a tough one, so let’s try to unwind this mess.

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Here’s the scenario:

Your employee meets with your boss for a “skip level” meeting.  After the meeting, the employee’s boss’s boss (your boss) tells you what a sharp employee you have.

Or, let’s say that your boss tells you that your employee needs to “change his attitude” and “has concerns about your employee.”  This is very direct feedback about the employee, and it comes from an excellent authority (your boss), and if you disagree with it, you disagree with your boss.

But this information is entirely suspect. Whether the feedback from the “big boss” is positive or negative, the only thing it reveals is how the employee performed during the meeting with the boss.  And unless your employee’s job duty is to meet with your boss, it actually has nothing to do with the expected performance on the job.  So if the feedback is negative, do you spend time trying to correct your employee’s behavior during the time the employee meets with the big boss, when it isn’t related to the employee’s job duties?

In addition, the big boss often prides him or herself on the ability to cut through things and come to conclusions quickly, succinctly, and immediately.  The big boss will come to a conclusion about the employee based on the data provided in the one-on-one meeting, and will expect this conclusion to be corroborated by you and everyone else.

The big boss, in this process, will put a tag on the employee, whatever it is.  Here are some examples of tags:

Up-and-comer

Introverted

Not a go-getter

Whip-smart

Not aware of the issues

Could be a problem

. . .or, the dreaded, ambiguous, “I’m not sure about him.”

What’s worse, since the “tag” originated with the big boss, it will likely stick.

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How to use strategy sessions as a way to manage indirect sources of info about your employees (part 3)

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This is the third part of a three part series in which I describe how managers should use strategy sessions to address indirect sources of information.  Many managers react to indirect sources of information and pass it along as feedback, when instead they should focus on direct sources of information for providing performance feedback.  When dealing with indirect sources of info, I advocate for “strategy sessions.”

In the example I’m using in this series, you’re receiving information from your employee’s peers and partners that the employee is being “difficult” in meetings.  In my previous articles (part 1 here, and part 2 here), I describe the first six steps for managers to take:

1) Make sure it’s important and worth strategizing about

2) Introduce the conversation as a strategy session

3) Introduce the issue that needs to be strategized share the information that is driving the need for discussion

4) Ask for the employee’s perspective on what the issue is

5) Find points of agreement on what the issue is

6) Strategize on how to resolve the problem

In today’s article, I wrap up the steps for conducting a strategy session with your employee:

7. Agree on what both of you plan to do differently

Since you never directly observed the original behavior, you can’t give quality feedback on the behavior.  You can, however, agree on what should be done moving forward.  This is a form of providing expectations of behavior.   As a result of the strategy session, you and your employee may agree to the following:

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